Have you ever put on a pair of jeans that snapped perfectly at the waist, but seem to have a little extra hanging up top? Well that, my dear is called “The Muffin Man!” He comes by messing up all of your outfits, stretching out your shirts, and makes you look like you are expecting a bundle of joy! I am happy to say that this house guest has packed up his stuff and has hit the interstate with no intentions of returning!

 Now that Mr. Muffin Man has left, I would like Mr. Toney Toni Tummy to come visit me now! I dream of a day when the definition of my stomach is apparent and my coke bottle contour comes back blazing on this body!

Recently as I was rushing to a sporting event I had thrown a pair of my favorite jeans.  I grabbed an oversized t-shirt to camouflage my muffin so no one would suspect what lied beneath the loosely worn cotton tee. But oh snap! …to my surprise as I buttoned my pants, I noticed Mr. Muffin had skipped out on me. I take it he does not feel welcomed anymore since I have traded in my sausage sandwich for a handful of almonds and apple slices, my soda for sparkling water, and Lucky Charms cereal for Special K.  I guess I am no longer the life of the loathing party. So during my silent slumber, in the middle of the night, that Muffin Man bastard skipped out on me!

Most of the time when you lose someone or something it’s difficult to get over; however, in the case of the Muffin Man, I celebrated his departure by doing a shirtless happy dance in front of my bedroom mirror.

I won’t ever take for granted that the Muffin Man will be gone forever, because if I do, he will be sure to return extra fluffy.